A masculine father who is rooted in his role can model a more appealing alternative to his children than what modern, radical Feminism of today has to offer. He can do this in several ways.
Celebrate the Complimentary Nature of Men and Women
Modern-day, third wave feminists seek to make us all one androgynous, unattractive, mob. They seek to shame men who display conventional masculine traits and skills and tear down women who want to be moms, who want to support their husbands, who may want to look pretty.
Don’t buy the narrative that men should be more feminine and women more masculine. This is the narrative that is straining gender relations and I’d argue even our political landscape. Show your kids how you are the masculine contrast to your wife’s feminine. Show this in how you live your life, in how you treat your wife and she treats you. We compliment each other, we don’t mirror each other.
Feminism Doesn’t Want Your Daughters to Get Married or Have Families.
Radical Feminism has become hostile to the stay-at-home mom. It went from “a woman has the choice to choose her career or how to spend her time,” which I agree with, to “a woman who cares for her children and family full-time is wasted.” This is a toxic and destructive narrative that is teaching our children that the traditional family unit isn’t important.
Do I want to teach my daughters their only role in life is to support their man at the expense of their own interests and goals? No, of course not. However, I want them to be FULLY aware of their options in life and know the consequences of those decisions.
If my daughter wants to be a corporate executive, a scientist or a lawyer and she knows, in her heart, that will make her happy, I’ll support her all the way. What I won’t do is sugar coat what she is possibly giving up; having children at a safer, younger age, fulfilling her biological urge to be a mother, spending time with her kids if she does have any. I won’t push them into STEM jobs just because society says there needs to be 50/50 representation of men/women in those fields. I won’t tell my daughters they need to be a “Strong, Independent Women” if all they really want to be is a mother or an artist or work part-time, while still providing tremendous value to their family at home.
To the contrary, I’ll teach them that being a mom and a wife is being a strong, independent woman. It’s particularly independent of any woman today to follow the more traditional path.
My wife works a little more than what I’d consider “part-time.” She chose a flexible career that she enjoys that still allows her to be home one full day a week and she works very limited and reasonable hours when she does . She enjoys this extra time with the kids and it provides us the luxury of having her home most of the time during the workday. She cooks dinner, she gets the kids ready for school, she’s there when they get off the bus. To me, this is far more valuable than her working 40-50 hours a week and making more money.
Raise Daughters to be “Strong and Independent of Feminism’s Victim-hood Culture.”
Never give your daughters a “pass” because they are a girl. Show the importance of meritocracy and how it is the most fair model that any culture and our country should operate by.
- I won’t tell my daughters that they are just as fast and strong as boys… that’s a lie.
- I won’t tell them that boys and girls behave the same… that’s a lie.
- I won’t tell them that boys and girls think the same… that’s a lie.
- I won’t tell them that they can “have it all,” dedicating 110% to their careers while also having a fulfilling home-life raising children.
- I won’t tell them, “It’s ok and safe to wait until your 40s to have children.”
- I won’t discourage them from being stay at home moms if that’s what they desire.
- I won’t tell them that if they major in gender studies, education or social work that they are entitled to earn the same as a doctor, lawyer or engineer.
- I will not perpetuate the myth of some invisible “Patriarchy” that’s repressing them.
What will I do?
- I will tell them to stand up for themselves if they aren’t getting paid the same as a man for the same job. Because they should value their skills and their competencies they developed through hard work.
- I will tell them that they are better than any job that requires them to accept less pay for equal work and that they should walk away.
- I will tell them to walk away from any job, relationship or arrangement where they are subjected to sexual harassment or quid pro quo sexual arrangements for advancement… they are better than that one opportunity and don’t need it.
- I will tell them they can still be strong-willed, independent and opinionated.
- However, I will also tell them to find a man who compliments them and one who they can compliment with their own strengths.
What if Your Wife Doesn’t Agree?
If your wife doesn’t see the damaging effects modern Feminism poses to your sons or daughters’ cultural development, and many won’t, you put actions before words. Demonstrate, don’t Explicate. The influence of radical Feminism and the Feminine Imperative runs deep. So deep that many women and men don’t even see it and don’t see the damage it’s doing to developing children and their sense of self and their gender identity.
If your wife doesn’t agree with your position on not following the Feminist narrative for your children, you don’t argue or attempt to logic her into your point of view. Women don’t usually see an argument from logic, especially when it’s conflicting with their feelings and emotions. Feminism is infused with emotion, driven by the narrative that all women are victims. You “fog” your position by repeating your stance if pressed, but don’t get sucked into an argument. This is Red Pill 101. You may even ask “negative assertion” type questions, but you don’t come at her with logic and you don’t DEER (Defend, Explain, Excuse or Rationalize) your position. You continue to assert your frame through actions, not words.
Most women will be happier when you are both filling your biological masculine and feminine rolls. That’s all that matters. If that’s being done, you probably won’t get much resistance.
One more important point to this… don’t go to your wife and say, “Baby, from now on we are going to…. blah, blah, blah… and Feminism is evil and here is why, blah, blah, blah…” That’s just asking for a challenge you don’t need. Many women say they are “feminists,” but typically don’t truly embrace the toxic gender Feminist narrative that has gained popularity today. My wife is mostly an “Equity Feminist,” (credit Dr. Shawn T. Smith) which is essentially the classical Feminist ideals of right to vote, equal opportunity and equal pay for equal work. Still, I’ve never gotten into the nitty-grity with her about it. Because no value will come of it. This is just from my observations of her.
Actions, not words will be your best tool. Show how being complimentary to one another sets a good example for your sons and daughters. Show your daughters how and, more importantly, why they don’t need toxic Feminism. They aren’t victims of the “Patriarchy” because the Patriarchy does not exist… just masculinity and femininity. Help your daughters embrace their femininity while pursuing their goals. Help your sons embrace masculinity while doing the same. They’ll fine their way.
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